Archive | February 2015

“As the tide washed in, the Dutch Tulip Man faced the ocean: ‘Conjoiner rejoinder poisoner concealer revelator. Look at it, Rising up and rising down, taking everything with it.’ ‘What’s that?’ Anna asked. ‘Water,’ the Dutchman said. ‘Well, and time.’ — Peter Van Houten, An Imperial Affliction

   He Wanted the Moon: The Madness and Medical Genius of Dr. Perry Baird, and His Daughter’s Quest to Know Him by Mimi Baird is a lovely story about A mid-century doctor’s raw, unvarnished account of his own descent into madness, and his daughter’s attempt to piece his life back together and make sense of her own.

Texas-born and Harvard-educated, Dr. Perry Baird was a rising medical star in the late 1920s and 1930s. Early in his career, ahead of his time, he grew fascinated with identifying the biochemical root of manic depression, just as he began to suffer from it himself. By the time the results of his groundbreaking experiments were published, Dr. Baird had been institutionalized multiple times, his medical license revoked, and his wife and daughters estranged. He later received a lobotomy and died from a consequent seizure, his research incomplete, his achievements unrecognized.
Mimi Baird grew up never fully knowing this story, as her family went silent about the father who had been absent for most of her childhood. Decades later, a string of extraordinary coincidences led to the recovery of a manuscript which Dr. Baird had worked on throughout his brutal institutionalization, confinement, and escape. This remarkable document, reflecting periods of both manic exhilaration and clear-headed health, presents a startling portrait of a man who was a uniquely astute observer of his own condition, struggling with a disease for which there was no cure, racing against time to unlock the key to treatment before his illness became impossible to manage.
Fifty years after being told her father would forever be “ill” and “away,” Mimi Baird set off on a quest to piece together the memoir and the man. In time her fingers became stained with the lead of the pencil he had used to write his manuscript, as she devoted herself to understanding who he was, why he disappeared, and what legacy she had inherited. The result of his extraordinary record and her journey to bring his name to light is He Wanted the Moon, an unforgettable testament to the reaches of the mind and the redeeming power of a determined heart.

I really like this book because it covers the life of someone with depression when depression was an unheard of and unnatural disease. It is a look into the disease that most do not get and that most sufferers are incapable of giving and I think it is vital that people understand what it is to feel like that. I could never explain to someone what it feels like to have mood swings that you can NOT control. To have days where you just dont want to leave your bed in fear of life and people. It is so hard and now someone has put it into the light and i kind of feel like Hazel Grace and this is my An Imperial Affliction!

Amazon Buying Link:



Long Overdue respect and love to my Bestie!

I think everyone has that one friend who is always there for you and has nothing but time when you need help… and if by any chance you don’t… I am so sorry. I have an amazing friend who never seems to understand how much I truly appreciate her and everything that she does for me. But at the same time I am not usually the type of person to tell her. So today I would like to tell you all about my friend Sam. Sam may not mean anything to you but I don’t know how I could ever get anything done without her. I know we piss each other off every once in a while but that’s a normal human thing and we tend to get over it by the next day or so.


See I don’t drive and haven’t since I got my permit taken away. Sam has never had any problems with running me to the store or to pick something up and even though I know she doesn’t like being out in the dead of winter freezing her buns off, she never complains and pushes through it for me. But its not just that, her and I have been through a lot together, three moves, a cross country car ride in a jeep liberty with three other people and three full grown dogs ( Never doing that again), loss of family members, our significant others being home all the time, our significant others being at work all the time, children, pets, absolutely retarded room mates, crazy family members… it seems like we have been through it all and no matter what every time we are together her and I are in the biggest laughing fits ever!

I suffer from depression horribly and I can honestly say that if it wasn’t for Samantha I would be in bed and sleeping 24/7 because I normally don’t want to be around anyone… period. She has pulled me out of that funk and continues to make me laugh. I think the only thing that still needs work is my love of all things Christmas. She is slowly breaking me down though because she gets so excited over everything around that time of year. Thank you Sam for always being there as a strong support system, a hilarious friend and a wonderful part of my inner circle!

So tell me, who is your best friend? How long have you known them? Why do you love them!?


Forget about where your children are… do you know what your putting on and in their bodies!?

I wouldn’t consider myself health conscious but occasionally i like knowing what is in some of the products i buy or eat. Now i have ruined many meals for myself by finding these things out. Now I would consider myself one of those people who thinks… if i don’t know its there it shouldn’t affect me but i got a new Blogging for Books addition and i am amazed at whats in these food and drinks. If these types of things interest you, you should check out this book: This is What You Just Put In Your Mouth? By Patrick DiJusto. Amazon Buying Link:

*Synpsys* All of these pressing questions and more are answered in This Is What You Just Put In Your Mouth? Based on his popular Wired magazine column What’s Inside, Patrick Di Justo takes a cold, hard, and incredibly funny look at the shocking, disgusting, and often dumbfounding ingredients found in everyday products, from Cool Whip and Tide Pods to Spam and Play-Doh. He also shares the madcap stories of his extensive research, including tracking down a reclusive condiment heir, partnering with a cop to get his hands on heroin, and getting tight-lipped snack-food execs to talk. Along the way, he schools us on product histories, label decoding, and the highfalutin chemistry concepts behind everything from Midol to Hostess fruit pies.
Packed with facts you’re going to want to share immediately, this is infotainment at its best—and most fun!—which will have you giving your shampoo the side-eye and Doritos a double take, and make you the know-it-all in line at the grocery store.

Now I read this in one sitting because it is small and doesn’t have much to it but each product they cover has its own little section and what is in it and then after you read what is in it you have a back story on it which is kind of cool because you learn why certain products use certain drugs or chemicals or even why the creators of A1 sauce uses raisin paste in their recipe. This book covers things like dog food, snack foods (Doritos and  hot pockets), and soaps, gasoline and even heroin. Not that i know anyone who wants to know what is in heroin but if you ever needed to argue the contents at least you know some facts i guess. This was a very interesting book, with interesting facts like how K.Y. lubrication for men contains honey but for some reason i was expecting something else. I think i wanted to find out what gross and appalling things where in products so i knew what to stay away from but it is literally what the product is made of and explains where those products came from and what they are mainly used for… I give is 2 out of five stars. I recieved this book completely free for review purposes only!

this is what you just put in your mouth cover

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself ~ Andy Warhol

   The quote above is the first thing I saw when I opened my newest book from blogging for books. Its right below this journal belongs to…
It seems like forever since I’ve owned a journal and I’m really excited because I have never had a journal like this before.

    Do you ever stop to wonder how you got where you are? The Q&A a Day Journal shows you what was going through your head each day—for five years of your life. Simply turn to today’s date, answer the question at the top of the page, and when you finish the journal, start over. As you return to the daily questions again over the years, you’ll notice how your answers change (or don’t)! With questions that are sometimes provocative (“On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you?”), occasionally quirky (“What can you smell right now?”), and inevitably interesting (“If you could travel anywhere tomorrow, where would you go?”), this classically designed journal—embellished with beautiful details—is the perfect gift for anyone embarking on a new phase of life.

   Today’s question was if today was an animal what animal would it be? And it took me till just now to figure out that it would have to be a squirrel. It was busy, exciting and almost like I wanted to store up everything for the rest of winter so I didn’t have to step back out of my house till spring.
   Everyone would have a different answer of course and I like that it leaves it open for any person to answer. I think everyone should own this book or a book like it because it shows you how you grow as a person and how some changes impact you more than others! 5 stars!


Being fat and being honest about being fat…. keepin it real folks!

   From a very young age I was taught that I am different. Not just because I was from a different family life or because I towered over every other kid I went to school with but because I have always been over weight. This is a long life ordeal for me because I feel this played a key roll in my depression.
   I come from a family of big people. My mom always said the bigger you are the more love you have to give, kids and teenagers these days just don’t understand that. I was called so many horrible names through my school years and yes I know sticks and stone right? But for some reason I have always worried about what everyone else has thought of me. Screw sticks and stones because words don’t just hurt… they scar and those scars stick with you forever.


This is myself, my father and my two younger twin sisters Katrina and Sabrina. I hid in the back next to my father >.<

   I started realizing I was getting bigger and I didn't need other people telling me so for me to become aware. But the more I heard it the more I ate… the more I ate the more I heard it and I was caught in a never ending vicious circle of self loathing a I couldn't and still can't get out of it. I don't hear people telling me these things anymore but mentally I step out the door to go somewhere and instantly start looking over my shoulder to see who is staring at me. I always think that people see the worst in me because that is what people have done. This year I am trying so damn hard to get fit and lose weight. I have an amazing support system and I'm ready to make a new me.
   So with all of that said, I ordered It Was Me All Along by Andie Mitchell from blogging for books because I unneeded something for motivation and I am so happy I got this one. It's hard to find an honest big person or a small person who use to be big who doesn't want anyone to know. But Allie Mitchell knows what it's like and is 100% honest about everything she writes. I cried at a couple points during this book because I know what it feels like. I know how it feels to feel low and unable to pick myself up and I hate feeling like there is nothing that can be changed.
   If you have ever felt big, looked big or even you were just self conscious about those few extra pounds or loose skin, and ladies, let's face it, we all have at one point or another, get this book!

   ** SYNOPSIS **
A heartbreakingly honest, endearing memoir of incredible weight loss by a young food blogger who battles body image issues and overcomes food addiction to find self-acceptance.
All her life, Andie Mitchell had eaten lustily and mindlessly. Food was her babysitter, her best friend, her confidant, and it provided a refuge from her fractured family. But when she stepped on the scale on her twentieth birthday and it registered a shocking 268 pounds, she knew she had to change the way she thought about food and herself; that her life was at stake.

It Was Me All Along takes Andie from working class Boston to the romantic streets of Rome, from morbidly obese to half her size, from seeking comfort in anything that came cream-filled and two-to-a-pack to finding balance in exquisite (but modest) bowls of handmade pasta. This story is about much more than a woman who loves food and abhors her body. It is about someone who made changes when her situation seemed too far gone and how she discovered balance in an off-kilter world. More than anything, though, it is the story of her finding beauty in acceptance and learning to love all parts of herself.