From a very young age I was taught that I am different. Not just because I was from a different family life or because I towered over every other kid I went to school with but because I have always been over weight. This is a long life ordeal for me because I feel this played a key roll in my depression.
I come from a family of big people. My mom always said the bigger you are the more love you have to give, kids and teenagers these days just don’t understand that. I was called so many horrible names through my school years and yes I know sticks and stone right? But for some reason I have always worried about what everyone else has thought of me. Screw sticks and stones because words don’t just hurt… they scar and those scars stick with you forever.
This is myself, my father and my two younger twin sisters Katrina and Sabrina. I hid in the back next to my father >.<
I started realizing I was getting bigger and I didn't need other people telling me so for me to become aware. But the more I heard it the more I ate… the more I ate the more I heard it and I was caught in a never ending vicious circle of self loathing a I couldn't and still can't get out of it. I don't hear people telling me these things anymore but mentally I step out the door to go somewhere and instantly start looking over my shoulder to see who is staring at me. I always think that people see the worst in me because that is what people have done. This year I am trying so damn hard to get fit and lose weight. I have an amazing support system and I'm ready to make a new me.
So with all of that said, I ordered It Was Me All Along by Andie Mitchell from blogging for books because I unneeded something for motivation and I am so happy I got this one. It's hard to find an honest big person or a small person who use to be big who doesn't want anyone to know. But Allie Mitchell knows what it's like and is 100% honest about everything she writes. I cried at a couple points during this book because I know what it feels like. I know how it feels to feel low and unable to pick myself up and I hate feeling like there is nothing that can be changed.
If you have ever felt big, looked big or even you were just self conscious about those few extra pounds or loose skin, and ladies, let's face it, we all have at one point or another, get this book!
** SYNOPSIS **
A heartbreakingly honest, endearing memoir of incredible weight loss by a young food blogger who battles body image issues and overcomes food addiction to find self-acceptance.
All her life, Andie Mitchell had eaten lustily and mindlessly. Food was her babysitter, her best friend, her confidant, and it provided a refuge from her fractured family. But when she stepped on the scale on her twentieth birthday and it registered a shocking 268 pounds, she knew she had to change the way she thought about food and herself; that her life was at stake.
It Was Me All Along takes Andie from working class Boston to the romantic streets of Rome, from morbidly obese to half her size, from seeking comfort in anything that came cream-filled and two-to-a-pack to finding balance in exquisite (but modest) bowls of handmade pasta. This story is about much more than a woman who loves food and abhors her body. It is about someone who made changes when her situation seemed too far gone and how she discovered balance in an off-kilter world. More than anything, though, it is the story of her finding beauty in acceptance and learning to love all parts of herself.
*** AMAZON BUYING LINK ***